I tried to. I was sad, heartbroken and my soul hurt. I decided to let others write about it because I felt too emotionally exhausted. It did not work because the pain never goes away. I have to write.
And now there is another case. First Alex, then Issy, and who knows if there are others? And the victims, one dead, the other still fighting for her life, are blamed.
A friend reminded me about a mother who murdered her two boys many years ago. She was not excused or received any sympathy. She shouldn’t, because she was a cold-blooded murderer. The media talked about the boys and the future they would never see. They demonized the mother.
What is different this time?
The victims this time were/are autistic, disabled. They were/are like me. And our lives don’t have the same value as the lives of other human beings.
Alex was savagely murdered by his mother and godmother. It was carefully planned, premeditated. Sleeping pills were taking too long, so they stabbed him on the chest, repeatedly. Then they slit his wrists, almost severing his hand.
Hate.
This was a hate crime.
The murderers took sleeping pills, attempting suicide. One could ask if a knife would be too gruesome for them. They survived.
The media told the story as if Alex did not really lost his life. His life wasn’t worth living anyway. Severely autistic, GI problems. Just like me. He is dead, murdered by his mother.
Then the media tells the struggles of the poor mother and the lack of services. She was so desperate, she did not see another way to end his pain. Being alive with and cared for would still be better than seeing his own mother coming at him with a knife. Can you feel his pain now?
Documentaries are in the making, TV appearances defending the mother, promoted by an unethical journalist who is associated with the producers of the documentary. And they don’t tell the whole story, they don’t tell Alex’s story.
A disgraced former doctor – Andrew Wakefield – who is trying to pitch his reality show, anti-vaccine groups who hate autism but who say they love autistic children, and promoters of some dangerous “treatments” to cure autism (bleach enemas) used Alex as prop, took pictures and made videos of him lying in the hospital bed, almost naked, then forgot about him after his murder, defended the murderer.
The mother blamed lack of services but she actually refused them. Read this again: she was offered services, but not the services the people I mentioned above promoted and she wanted, and she said “no”.
Hate.
Alex’s murder was a hate crime
Issy is autistic and her mother tried to murder her.
The mother and her defenders blamed lack of services, the media repeated the excuse, called Issy violent. The first sentence of the articles setting the tone and leading people to understand the mother’s reason for almost murdering her daughter. The violent daughter.
Why are so many defending murderers and blaming children, the victims? Why is lack of services justification for a cold blood, savage murder or attempted murder? Would parents of non-disabled children receive the same sympathy? What if they were unemployed, desperate, lonely and the children hungry? Would that make it ok?
Why are groups that call themselves autism advocates justifying a murder/attempt murder of an autistic child? Shouldn’t they be advocating for the child? I can answer this one: they hate autism so much, they don’t believe autism is part of their own child, they think they are not projecting hate onto their own children, and they don’t see the humanity of autistic people. To them, autism is a disease to be eliminated, even if it kills a child or adult. To them, autism is so bad, autistics are better off dead. But they cannot say that out loud, so they blame everyone else, everything else, except the murderer who did what these groups advertise, implicitly or explicitly.
Because their message is: get rid of this autism.
People follow the message. But the autistic person disappears too – murdered.
No.
Murdering your child is never ok. Never.
Murdering your child is never ok. Never.
The media falls for the haters, so the media has blood on its hands.
Andrew Wakefield, disgraced doctor without a license has blood on his hands. His followers who were part of the media blitz that used Alex as a prop have blood on their hands.
Anyone who defends the murderers has blood on his hands.
And I don’t care who you are. If you have a drop of sympathy for the murderers, you have blood on your hands.
CBS News: Take down the video Behind the Tragedy: Mother Murders Autistic Son
Amy Sequenzia is an Autistic activist, writer, and poet. Read more here , on her blog at Non-Speaking Autistic Speaking and on Autism Women’s Network.
Thank you Amy. I know the difficulty in writing these kinds of words and yet we must because it is more difficult not to write them. There are ever so many in this world who hate us because we are autistic. I have become leery of people who say they are autism advocates because all the murderers were autism advocates and even though I know cognitively that this fear does not make sense it is in the pit of my stomach. It doesn’t go away. With each murder it grows bigger. It feels like it is hunting season for autistics. Some days I am very afraid and at the same time I am somehow brave to keep speaking because there are many of us now who speak up and don’t stop. I do love of you Amy even though in real life we do not see one another…only on social media. We must keep on keeping on for all the Alexes and Issys and while we are at it we need to NOT get our own self esteem from the autism advocates that hammer at us on social media <3.
Actually, I’ve already seen one case of a mother who murdered her (we presume, the child was barely a month old so one cannot be certain) neurotypical child and got nearly the same level of “what was she supposed to do?” sympathy from that nation’s media. Mind you, that same nation has an adoption waiting list that’s almost 2 years long.
So…I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: If we, as a society, allow for the devaluation of human life on any level, it *will* devalue on every level in time.
The inconvenient pregnancy evolved into the “let’s abort it because it has trisomy 21” which evolved into “If I’d known she was autistic, I would have aborted…”which evolved into…this.
Meanwhile, if you check the news, you will find that the cases of elderly abuse/neglect/murder are rising on a similar curve.
Bookends of the same problem.
We reap what we sow, but it is always the innocent who suffer.
Just FYI, there is a ton of people DEFENDING Kelli on her blog “The Status Woe.” I’m appalled. I don’t get it. She attempted to murder a child and the people are literally callin for understanding and excusing her behavior. I am so angry!
a mother of 2 commits murder suicide. She had a 2 month old and a young child. Everyone put sympathy for her because she must’ve had post partum depression and didn’t get the help. All she needed to do is go to an emergency department and say how she felt instead 2 young children are dead the mother found dead in the river. Media had coverage of many who said they were sympathetic with the mother as that can happen to any mother. Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong?