• Black and white Photograph of bridge. Text reads "Whenever fear of an already marginalized group occurs history has shown that the results are horrific. Please do not be part of society going there. You can inform yourself. JUDY ENDOW ,Ollibean Logo Ollibean and outline of a circle made up of equal signs of various shapes and sizes

Autism and Public Perception

Autism and Public Perception by Judy Endow Today we have added something to our public perception of autism. Historically that perception has been one of an isolated small child rocking or head banging, oblivious to the rest of the world. Even though that perception is wrong, it is the public perception. There is an addition to that perception in the past few years. It seems society has added an adult image of autism. It is another false image, but never-the-less, quickly becoming an accepted public image of what it means to be an adult autistic. Unfortunately for

  • "finding some other movement to hook into that will serve to interrupt and change the pattern to match my newer cognitive understanding" Judy Endow. Ollibean logo

Autistic Patterns of Thoughts and Emotions

I use the movement of things outside of me for purposes of thinking and of processing feelings. Recently, autistic friends have let me know that most people in the world do not do this and that it is a rather common autistic experience. I have no idea how common so would very much appreciate autistic weigh in here.   Thinking   My thoughts are all in colors and pictures. Usually there are sounds attached, but not always. To think I need a way for the colors and pictures to move. When my sensory system is calm and integrated the thoughts

  • Faded Image of ocean and waves and rocks. Text reads WILL THE SELF-ADVOCACY SKILLS WE TEACH OUR YOUTH TODAY SERVE THEM WELL IN THEIR ADULTHOOD? Judy Endow ,MSW, Ollibean logo

Autism, Transition Programs and the Impact of Poverty on Self-Advocacy

I am an autistic woman who has lived both in poverty and as a middle-income person during my adult life. I am noticing how self-advocacy is typically geared toward middle-income status. This could be problematic since many autistic adults live in poverty. Based upon my experience I have come to realize that middle class self-advocacy works fine if in fact you are a middle-income person, but doesn’t work well if you are a poor person.   I will explain this more using an example from my life as a poor person versus a middle class person.   Dental Experience as

  • Photograph of sky and lake at sunset.

Visual Accommodations and Blessings of My Autism

The visual sensory aspects of the way autism plays out for me most of the time means that I get too much information delivered – things are too big, too bright, too bold – typically too much to endure all day. Practically, this means I need to accommodate my sensory system in a variety of ways.   Let’s take but one example from my life where visual overload is a pretty constant problem. Here are some things I have found helpful:   Environmental Accommodations for Overhead Lights   Most of the time I simply do what I need unless it

Using Autistic Strengths to Make Friendships Work

I am an intelligent autistic woman. I manage my own business, have raised three great kids and interface with the world around me with a fair amount of success. Not too shabby considering I lived in an institution as a kid, was homeless as an adult and used public assistance for some years.   Today I am content in my life. It is intentional. I have decided not only to be content, but how to intentionally let go of some things that used to bother me. I hope to get better with this over time because it is great feeling

  • Photograph of aqua and blue ocean. Text reads "Sensory system needs change over time, JUDY ENDOW,MSW on Ollibean"

Autism and A Changing Sensory System

Something about autistic sensory difference that I do not see addressed in the literature is the fact that sensory system needs change over time.

Autism and Non-Fluid Speech

I am a speaking autistic woman. Even so, I rarely have fluid access to my speech. Often times I have in mind something I would like to discuss with a friend so as to get their thoughts and ideas on the topic, but even though I know what I want to discuss the words are not available as speaking words. Oh, I know the words – they are in my head – I just cannot get them to come out of my mouth at will.   This often poses difficulties for me. One example is when I am with my

Autism and Visual Detail

Because of my autism I often experience sensory overload. Many times this is painful. I have learned that by keeping my sensory system regulated I can avoid some of the pain. Over time, in the process of becoming more regulated, I have found ways to enjoy my unique sensory system. One of the things I enjoy is a degree of beauty I can see in many things around me. I don’t think neurotypical people often see the detail I do. The reason I think this is because when I comment about something beautiful I am seeing others often do not see it. Sometimes

Autism and Hiring Help

I recently moved. It involved working with a realtor, a banker, and numerous other people. Today I am contemplating sorting out what to put into my new desk drawers and have a literal pile of paperwork from various aspects of my moving adventure. As each person representing each faction of moving began working with me they explained what they would do, how they would do it and the expected outcome.   For example, the furniture store guy explained how the sale worked, the ordering and delivery of the furniture and the return policy. I asked my questions which were answered

I Paint to Share My Autistic Experience

I started painting with acrylics in 2012. I wanted to use that medium to illustrate aspects of my autism. To date I have written several articles and books along with speaking in three countries about aspects of autism. Painting is one more way to explain some of the nuances of autism to those who might be interested. Painting allows me to show perceptions of the world that I see with my eyes as delivered through the neurology of my autism. I match up what I see with the colors and movements of paint on canvas paper. I have not taken classes

Outsmarting the Hard of Autism to Attend Live Theater

I love musicals and other live theater performances. About five years ago I googled the name of the performing arts theater in my town along with “season tickets” and was delighted to discover the possibility for a whole new adventure! My friend Marilyn and her adult son Jimmy (who also likes musicals and has autism) decided they would like to do this too. Each year I am the person who sends out the information on shows and orders the tickets for all three of us. Along the way we had to outsmart the hard of our autism and figure out

In Sidewalk Cracks: Authentic Relationships

In Sidewalk Cracks: Authentic Relationships In life we play on sidewalk squares. You on your NT sidewalk square You jump to my square to help me out (and so does everyone else) That I need all the help you can give. You teach me to copy your ways. I jump to your square and copy you. You are happy because I am learning To copy your ways in the world. All I have is you helping me And me copying your ways. Is it a wonder the feeling of alien predominates? There is more to jumping over the sidewalk crack.

More Than An Autism Diagnosis

I am an adult with autism. My thinking is visual rather than word-based. Autism gifts me with a literal and concrete way of thinking. My thoughts are all in full moving color. You can read about this and about my life in my book called Paper Words, Discovering and Living With My Autism. (Endow, 2009a) “Always, I have a front row seat to watch the show! Each color, with its infinite variety of hues and brightness, has its own movement patterns and sound combinations. Even though spoken words are the medium most often used by people to communicate with me, I

  • My diagnosis is about who I am NOT and what I cannot do – a measure of my limitations, deficits and difficulties. Being an autistic woman is about who I am – a human being who IS, who CAN and who DOES – measured by living a full life in her own way in this world. Judy Endow on Ollibean

Don’t Define Me By My Deficits

My advice for younger autistics and for those who love and support them would be to look at who you ARE as a human being.

  • For us, autism is not simply an add on to our personhood, but is in fact, foundational to our identity. Judy Endow

Person First Attitude Trumps Language

Am I a person with autism or autistic? Does it matter? And why?

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