Parenting and Caregiving Relationships

Parenting and Caregiving Finding the balance between parenting and caregiving children with disabilities can be challenging -- there's a fine line between hovering and being there to assist when needed. The dynamics of the caregiving/care receiving relationship are complex. They are constantly changing as our children grow up; what's nurturing and helpful for a five year old doesn't fly at ten, what was okay at ten, doesn't work at eleven, and so on and so on. The media typically presents the perspective of caregivers, particularly parent caregivers, but rarely provides the perspective of the person with a disability who uses personal

  • Photograph of two people walking down a dirt road . Their backs are facing the camera and the person on the left has their arm around the other. Autism, Death and Mental Health Therapy Judy Endow on Ollibean

Autism, Death and Mental Health Therapy

by Judy Endow The traumatic event of death is something we all struggle with from time to time over the course of our life. It is no different for autistic people. I am often reminded to be sure to identify exactly what the autistic person is struggling with when it comes to their particular circumstances. I am remembering youngster who had a pet gerbil that died and he didn’t want to part with the beloved gerbil. Three days after the gerbil had passed the pet was still in the little plastic exercise ball, which the youngster was carrying around with

  • Photo of a girl holding a sparkler. Text reads: Active listening is paying attention to all possible ways of communication an Autistic child uses. Amy Sequenzia on Ollibean

Parents, Are You Listening To Your Child?

As a non-speaking Autistic, I pay special attention to comments and statements made by parents of other non-speaking Autistics, especially children. Many times I see parents lamenting that they will never listen to their Autistic child say "I love you", or how much they long to hear those words.

Normalcy is an Ableist Concept

by Amy Sequenzia Ableism: we know it is everywhere and we know it is the reason why disabled people fight the normative society that chooses to make us invisible. The idea that we should try to fit a pre-determined, arbitrary way of doing things excludes disabled people by default. We are often ignored, many times abused, used as props for inspiration porn, and generally left out - unless we change how we do things, unless non-disabled people feel at least a little comfortable in our presence. Despite laws and general common sense, any accommodations necessary to make a little

Respectfully Connected: Journeys in Parenting and Neurodivergence

We are all about respect, so of course, Respectfully Connected is a Resource We Love!

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LOVED As I Am

We can all use a daily reminder that we are loved, accepted and adored for being exactly who we are. Ollibean Goods of the Day- "LOVED as I am" , "You Are Loved" and "I Am Loved" .

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Autism and Holiday Schedules

Autism and Holiday Schedules by Judy Endow As an autistic getting through the holiday time can be quite tricky. As an autistic parent with children who had different needs it was even trickier. Routine and structure can go a long way! They anchor the days that can otherwise be perceived by an autism neurology as totally chaotic, which in turn, often leads to being overwhelmed and experiencing meltdowns.   1.  Start by creating a visual schedule. You can simply use paper and pencil or use an iPad or computer to make your visual schedule. Words can

Communication Supports for Speaking Autistics?

As an autistic, I know first hand how my communication abilities are different from the neuro-majority people around me. Most people do not understand my differences because I can speak. On the surface my communication abilities appear normal. This make it very difficult for people to understand when I need accommodations they are just that – accommodations – not personal preferences. For example, even though I can speak to crowds of thousands of people my neurology does not permit me to engage in telephone conference calls in a meaningful way. The most I can do is listen, but after a

Autism and Eye Contact

A challenge I am continually faced with as an autistic adult is the misinformed presumption and resulting behavior of neurotypical people when I do not look at them the in way they expect, want or demand of me. It is challenging because society has put the onus on me to change. Often it does not matter to others why I am different. They just want me to stop being different. Recently I was told directly, “If you want to be treated like a real person then act like one!” Eye contact can be hard for autistics for a variety of

ALL Students Should Be Safe at School

I spoke at Hillsborough County School District's board meeting on September 9, 2014 to address safety concerns for students with disabilities after Tamya Johson, a nine year old student on the autism spectrum was left sleeping on her school bus. The day after this meeting, September 10, Hillsborough School Bus Crash sends 21 people to the hospital. Transcript Mrs Elia, Board members, I’ve come to speak to you today to offer my help and the community’s help to do whatever we need to do to ensure all students are safe in our schools. Being safe while at school is the

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The Benefits of Real Food

Guest post from Chasing the Spring's Dani Johnson on the life changing benefits of a blenderized diet made for her daughter. We were drawn to the great recipes Dani shares as well as her experience of learning from adult g-tube users.

Crossing Sign Conundrums

Over the course of my life I have seen many kinds of crossing signs. When I go to a college campus I drive past a wildlife sanctuary where a duck crossing sign is posted. Each spring mama ducks line up near their sign and lead their babies across the road while the cars waited. There were lots of ducks and some days the wait for motorists can be up to ten minutes. Every winter when I drive along a county highway to visit a friend I see a snowmobile crossing sign. A snowmobile trail is on one side of the

Sensory Tool Kit or Purse ?

Notebooks, silly putty, colored pencils, a favorite book.. I did many of these suggestions with all three of my kids when they were little. A mom carries around ever so many things in her purse to entertain kids in public places. However, if the kid has been diagnosed with autism you call all the junk in your purse a sensory tool kit. The difference here is if the kid is not on the spectrum it is a nice diversion and helps keep him better behaved. If the kid is on the spectrum the regulation offered by the stuff in your purse is

  • op one fourth of book cover is a white background" Black and White" written in black text with capital letters in large font "A Colorful Look at Life on the Autism Spectrum"Beneath also in black text with capital letters written in small font . Middle section contains a color photograph of blonde light skinned woman in profile . Text in right hand corner reads A Book by S.R. Salas Bottom quarter of bookcover has a black background with white text, small font that reads "Renee provides a fascinating insight to autism, I highly recommed (her) book..."- Dr. Tony Attwood "Black and White provides an inside positive view of autism..." - Dr Temple Grandin

Ollibean Spotlight: Renee Salas

" Talk to people with disabilities. As many as you can: Adults, adolescents, kids. These people are the real experts on disabilities. These are the people that can tell you what life with a disability is like." Renee Salas

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Ollibean Spotlight: Kerima Cevik Pay It Forward Activist

"Equal access, level playing field, dignity, respect for my son and all his community. No separate classrooms separate doors or isolation from others. See I’m a woman of color. When I began my education you could still see the Colored Only bathrooms in the Deep South. If you put my son in one room and say he is not good enough to be where the law says he should be, with his peers, then red flags of segregation fly up at me. Many parents of color feel the wrongness of it organically, but they have been convinced that their neurodiverse children are not good enough for their neighborhood school and that their children are a distraction or threat to typical children in some way. The different operating system in their child’s brain throws them off, particularly when maladaptive behaviors are in the mix. It leaves them feeling guilty, helpless, afraid their kids will come to harm, and they listen to anyone, even if their gut tells them the advice is unjust. I am and advocate of Universal Design for Learning. I think my son can be with his peers in age as well as ability and everyone can benefit." Kerima Cevik

Believing in Your Child and Why It Matters

"No one affects a child's day, dreams and future like a mother. Of course we are never perfect, but perfect is never the goal." Tonya Whitlock

  • Presume Competence, Believe in Yourself, Treat Yourself Like You Are Your Own Best Friend, Breathe, Do Your Thing, Hug Those You Love..Every Single Day, Challenge the Paradigm, Take a Million Pictures, Play, Trust Your Gut, Keep All Records and Reports, Believe in Random Acts of Silliness, Be Informed, Think in Parallel, Turn It Up to 11, Appreciate the Beauty and Strength in Our Diversity, Question Everything, Love Deeply, Research, Own Your Difference ,Bust a Move, Know That Typical Is Overrated, Lean Into It, Embrace The Teachable Moments, Call on a Friend, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Sleep When You Can, We Are More Alike Than We Are Different, All of a Kind, Ollibean

Happy Mother’s Day Week : Turn It Up to 11

It's that time of year .... Mother's Day Week! Is there a song that makes you think about why you love being a mom? Or a song that just reminds you of your family? Share it here.

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Tiny Grace Notes: Open Heartedness

Because I am a person who prepares special ed teachers and doc students for a living, I meet a lot of people, and a lot of them are parents of kids, and a lot of the kids these parents have are kids with autism.  I get to know them over time, and see the wonderful work they do as pre-service teachers, and often keep in touch with what they are doing after they graduate.  These are good and loving people, dedicated to life-long learning.  This is my general background knowledge of other people’s parents.  This is hundreds or maybe by now a thousand-odd of

Child Positive Impact:The Disability-Culture Connection

This study examined mothers' perceptions of the positive impact of having a child with an intellectual disability. Trajectories of positive impact from 7 time points were developed using latent growth modeling and 2 predictors: culture (Anglo, Latino) and child disability status (intellectual disability, typical development). Data were from 219 mothers of children from age 3 to 9 years. Growth trajectories reflected a general decline in positive impact on Anglo mothers. On average, at age 3, Anglo mothers reported significantly lower initial values on positive impact when their children had an intellectual disability, but Latino mothers did not. Across all time points, Latino

A Parent’s Story of Advocacy on The Inclusive Class

Teachers love a great resource! Especially a resource that is free and at their fingertips - literally. That's why I put together a list of... How do we help our children or students who are perpetually losing things, often running late and seem complete

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We Love Emma’s Hope Book

Ariane Zurcher is definitely one of our favorite writers. She writes with exceptional honesty, insight, and beauty.

I Feel Tired

Some parents understand that autism is a natural part of some children’s lives and they fight the societal attitudes toward autistics. That’s love. Some parents don’t, and they fight, and hurt, their own children. This is not love and is one of the things that make me very tired.

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Advice from Someone Who Has Been There

I love Larry Bissonnette- artist and disability rights activist. If you have seen Wretches & Jabberers or My Life as an Artist, or seen Larry present- I'm sure you are right there with me. His paintings are extraordinary, his words brilliant, and his wit and personality beyond wonderful. He is an exceptional person I feel privledged to call friend. We have been lucky enough to spend a lot of time with Larry; a weekend at our home in Tampa, a week in Vermont (where we were able to visit Larry's studio and watch him create his paintings) and numerous conferences

More Powerful than Energy and Entropy

Jeffrey Wright to his students ,"There is something a lot greater than energy. There’s something a lot greater than entropy. What’s the greatest thing? Love ."

Raising Rebel Souls

We are huge fans of Raising Rebel Souls. Heather  is an incredible writer and advocate, and stood firmly with Henry:) Here's a bit about Raising Rebel Souls: Rebel Mommy: I am Rebel Mommy, also known as Heather. I have been given a lot. I am lucky in love. Yes, my hands are full, yes, I drink too much coffee, yes, my dishes are currently piled up and no, I am not a good housewife, but yes, I am a damn good Mother. I was born to do it. I swear to you, my life before my sons, was just me

Amy Sequenzia: I, Too, Want to Understand.

Why would a parent of an autistic child decide that it is better not to listen to other autistics? Why? I, Too, Want to Understand.

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Ollibean Mama Spotlight

Connect and learn with other parents like Tonya who presume competence and celebrate their children for being exactly who they are. #allofakind

Change Leader Marianne Russo

Change Leader Marianne Russo of The Coffee Klatch Special Needs Talk Radio answers our questions. We talk to her about why she started the Coffee Klatch interactive network and she answers our Ollibean Questionairre.

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Got Questions? Get answers from our disability-centric community.

We’ve organized Ollibean so members can support each other in a very organic way. You will connect with others based on mutual interest in diffability related content.

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Jedd Hafer of Love and Logic ® answers your parenting questions

We recently had the pleasure of speaking with Jedd Hafer, of Love & Logic® and asked him some of our questions. Jed's one of those people that you start talking to and feel like you've known him forever.

Seahawks GM John Schneider knows: Autism is a family diagnosis

RENTON — Ten-year-old Ben Schneider is a fun kid. He has a great laugh, loves Legos and playing video games. You can hear the pride in his parents' voices when they tell you how smart he is. When Ben was 16 months old, he could arrange the letters of the

Love and Logic ®

What Is Love and Logic All About? The Love and Logic Institute is dedicated to making parenting and teaching fun and rewarding, instead of stressful and chaotic. We provide practical tools and techniques that help adults achieve respectful, healthy relationships with their children. All of our work is based on a psychologically sound parenting and teaching philosophy called Love and Logic. What Is Love and Logic? Children learn the best lessons when they're given a task and allowed to make their own choices (and fail) when the cost of failure is still small. Children's failures must be coupled with love

The Coffee Klatch

The Coffee Klatch started on a whim. I often speak and write about the isolation, stigma and confusion of parents raising a special needs child. Many of those 
parents are on twitter to share information, seek support or find a friendly ear. Twitter is where it all began. It is where I met my incredible team of moderators and thousands of special needs parents. It is where we created a morning chat for parents both newly diagnosed and those who have navigated the muddy waters to meet and share. It became very apparent to me, very quickly, that many of

Amy Sequenzia “Be Proud of Who You Are”

"Feeling sorry for our disabilities means not accepting ourselves. I feel sorry because disabilities rights are still lacking, not because I am disabled. My message is, hopefully, about our strength and similarities". Amy Sequenzia

Down Syndrome Brings Joy Not Regrets to Individuals and Families

In a series of recently completed surveys, 96 percent of parents expressed no regrets about having a child with Down Syndrome and nearly eight out of 10 said the child had enhanced their lives by teaching them patience, acceptance and flexibility, among other things. Siblings had similar feelings, with 94 percent feeling "pride" about their sibling and 88 percent saying the sibling had made them a "better person." via Down Syndrome Brings Joy Not Regrets for Many Families - MSN Health & Fitness - Kids' Health.

Amy Julia Becker: Explaining Down Syndrome, To My Daughter, And Myself

A few months back, I mentioned to our daughter Penny that she would be meeting another little boy who had Down syndrome, just like her. She didn't say anything in response, but later on that day, when Penny was at school and William was getting ready for a nap, he said, "Mom, what down syn mean?" via Amy Julia Becker: Explaining Down Syndrome, To My Daughter, And Myself.

Geri Jewell: Geri-ism #2: Unmasking the Real Disabilities

It involves the beating of a 16-year-old girl with cerebral palsy. The perpetrators were the girls' parents -- primarily her father, Judge William Adams, who serves as a family law judge in Texas. It was very graphic and painful to watch, but I forced myself to see the whole thing through. via Geri Jewell: Geri-ism #2: Unmasking the Real Disabilities.

Love and Logic

The Love and Logic Institute is dedicated to making parenting and teaching fun and rewarding, instead of stressful and chaotic. They provide practical tools and techniques that help adults achieve respectful, healthy relationships with their children. All of their work is based on a psychologically sound parenting and teaching philosophy called Love and Logic. What Is Love and Logic? Children learn the best lessons when they're given a task and allowed to make their own choices (and fail) when the cost of failure is still small. Children's failures must be coupled with love and empathy from their parents and teachers.

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